


parts

by rories



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Childhood Sweethearts, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 14:46:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5501441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rories/pseuds/rories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the sum of their parts make up their whole</p>
<p>a collection of moments</p>
            </blockquote>





	parts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [murdur](https://archiveofourown.org/users/murdur/gifts).



> this like softly brushes up against some of your prompts so there's that. no idea how there is like almost 1800 words of this????

_i've loved him my whole life, and somewhere along the way, that love didn't change but grew. it grew to fill the parts of me that i did not have when i was a child. it grew with every new longing of my body and desire until there was not a piece of me that did not love him. and when i look at him, there is no other feeling in me._  
― laura nowlin, if he had been with me

*****

They meet through Thor in grade 1. Thor sits next to her in the grass as the whole class draws on tiny child sized sketch pads and he steals her green pencil. Sif squawks out a protest, about to reach over and yank it out of his hand when another appears in front of her face. She looks up to see another boy their age glaring down and he gives the pencil another shake until she takes it out of his hand. Only then does he delicately fold himself into a sitting position in front of her. 

Thor introduces himself, sticks out a small hand for her to shake and then introduces the other boy. Loki, he calls him and Thor says he’s his brother, but they look nothing alike. Sif gives them her name but then turns back to coloring, borrowed green pencil in hand.

Loki is quiet where Thor is loud, but they all become fast friends, joining up with other kids in their grade to play in pretend battles, shouting and jumping off the playground equipment. It’s easy, a simple childhood and while Sif calls Thor her best friend, it’s Loki who steals her attention most days. 

When she looks back years later, she’ll finally understand how much space he really took up and she won’t be bothered at all. 

*****

_you are the best parts of all the songs i love_ \- iain thomas, i wrote this for you

*****

They’re in secondary school when Sif and Loki kiss for the first time. It’s at a party and the music is loud and Sif is a little drunk. She feels the bass in her throat and her veins thrum in time with what little melody the music supplies. She feels happy and free and almost like she’s floating so she grabs Thor’s arm as he steers her to the living room. 

Someone in the crowd yells “SPIN THE BOTTLE!” and she joins in the cheers before dropping down to sit in the circle. Someone else hands her a drink and she squishes up next to Thor as more people join the circle. She spots Loki across the group, jacket still on over his hoody because he’s always cold, even surrounded by warm bodies all around him. 

The bottle is an empty Volstagg snagged from a side table and his first spin lands on a pretty blonde across the group. It takes a few minutes before it’s her turn and after planting a kiss on Fandral’s cheek (to his chagrin), she spins the bottle with a slight wobble. 

It slows to a stop, neck pointed to Loki. She catches his eye and the song on the sound system slowly filters away. Sif leans forward, hair falling about her face and a lopsided grin gracing her lips. Loki meets her halfway and his face has a hint of smugness that she is determined to wipe away. 

The kiss is soft at first, a gentleness she never expects from him and one that he only extends to her, but she presses harder and gasps when he nips at her bottom lip. The music is muffled in her ears but the bass is still beating in her chest in time with her heart. She’ll remember this song forever, every note and the way Loki tastes embedding themselves into her memories.

_i can feel it in my bones_ the song says but Sif can feel him far deeper than that. 

*****

_and in her i found the right amount of everything i’m not_

*****

He finds out the truth about his family a few months after graduating from university. It feels almost like his whole world comes crashing down so it’s easier to just collapse in on himself. He speaks to no one though Thor tries his hardest and even Volstagg, Fandral, and Hogun attempt to get him to talk. 

But Loki says nothing, does nothing. He refuses to come home, ignores Frigga’s calls though it pains him to his core. He doesn’t even think about his father. His whole world is shattered and he feels like a lie, like every part of him has been rewritten. 

It’s Sif who finally breaks him free of his despair. She shows up at his apartment with a bottle of booze and nothing to say. They get drunk and Sif tells him stories about her brother and let’s him lean against her when his head feels heavy. They’re through the first bottle when he finally starts talking, starting and stopping as he tries to explain how he feels. He’s a wordsmith, he’s been able to manipulate people with words for years, but in that moment he can’t say what he needs to. But Sif is there and never says anything, just listens until he falls asleep resting against her chest, arms wrapped around her waist and her fingers in his hair.

He wakes the next morning with a raging headache that makes his head feel heavy. But he feels Sif underneath him, still sleeping softly, and his heart feels lighter. He will not forgive his family right away, but with Sif, he thinks he can feel okay again. 

*****

_all you have to do_  
is discover a  
little love inside  
of you and  
let it devour,  
everything  
-nick frederickson

*****

He realizes he’s in love with Sif on a Thursday. It’s been months since he’d found the words to explain his loneliness at the bottom of a bottle. Months since Sif was the only person he trusted enough to open up to. Months of Sif coming over every night, eating his food and bingeing on his Netflix before falling asleep in his bed. Months of feelings building up inside of him until they explode on a Thursday afternoon while he’s standing in line at Bifrost, the hipster coffee shop and bakery that Sif loves so much. 

He knows he’s in love with her because he’s memorized her coffee order and on a whim he’s decided to pick up a double chocolate cupcake just because he knows that it will make her smile. He knows because he woke up that morning with his face buried in her hair and wasn’t bothered at all. He knows because he feels it in every fiber of his being, she has burrowed her way under his skin until there is nothing left to feel except her. He knows because she loves him too. 

*****

_i think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them that no one else gets to see._  
  
*****  
Being with Loki is not easy, Sif finds. There are parts of him so deeply buried to hide himself from the world that she feels she will never truly know him. Instead, she knows the hard parts of him, the parts that make most people turn away from him in anger, raise their voices to him. The parts that cut him off from most of the world. 

But she’s lucky. She’s lucky that he has allowed her in. Has allowed her to find the soft parts of him as well. The parts that bring a sparkle to his eyes. The parts that let cold fingers trail along her skin. The soft parts that mean a small smile on his beautiful face meant only for her. 

It’s those parts of him that makes her whole. 

*****

_i know you and i are not about poems or other sentimental bullshit, but i have to tell you even the way you drink your coffee just knocks me the fuck out._ \- clementine von radics

*****

They get snowed in for Christmas one year. Snow up to their eyeballs and the newscasters are calling for more. Sif calls in to work and then calls Frigga to say they won't make it for Christmas before crawling back under the covers to touch her cold toes to the back of Loki's calves. She laughs when he hisses and presses herself closer to his back.

They wake up again a few hours later and it's Loki this time that slides out of bed, careful not to let too much air under the duvet. He makes coffee for the two of them, toasts a few bagels, and brings them all back over to Sif. She's sitting up now and her hair is tangled around her face and Loki tries not to stumble. 

She takes the coffee from him and doesn't even let it cool before she starts drinking it, closing her eyes and sighing before leaning back against headboard. 

Loki's breath catches in his throat as he watches the blush of heat travel up her throat. He wants to press a kiss against that expanse of skin, wants to mark it up so that when they're finally free from the snow so people will see them. 

He catches his breath as she opens her eyes again and he watches as she smirks at him because she knows exactly what he was thinking. It's no surprise when she sets her coffee aside and takes his as well before leaning forward over the plate of bagels and pressing a kiss to his neck. She wants the same things, to mark him and claim him as hers. 

It's also no surprise that he lets her. 

*****

_realization, i have loved you all my life_

*****

He tells her he loves her only a handful of times. She doesn't need the words from him, not when he shows her every day with looks and touches, when he brings her coffee or a cupcakes, when he smiles at her over their stained and dingy breakfast table. But it's nice to hear every once in a while. 

He tells her first thing in the morning one day, when they're still under the covers, front to front, feet tangled together. She grins because his voice is gruff with sleep but totally sincere. _How long?_ she asks and he doesn't even need clarification.

_Forever._

***** 

_we were together.  
i forget the rest._

***** 

**Author's Note:**

> *blows a giant raspberry*
> 
> song from the party scene is [this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aORgpTrrJ7U)


End file.
